Overcoming Psychic Addiction
It has taken me OVER 12 months to be able to write on this subject because that is how long it took me to break my cycle of addiction.
For 15 months straight I was addicted to psychic advice to a point that it was almost impossible for me to make ANY decision in life without consulting one.
I was over 5k in debt because of the “habit” which occurred in just 15 months and if I had kept going past Jan of 2022 that amount could have easily been in over 10K within just 3 more months.
This was something I never intended to happen. There was a part of me that was so naturally drawn to the taboo, the metaphysical and mostly the allure of the power of just knowing things. I never thought it would become something that controlled me more than I controlled it. I never thought it would literally ruin my relationship with God and bring my anxiety to a point of no return. But that is what happens with addiction. It ruins our other plans, it makes itself the focus of our lives, it becomes the thing which is more NEEDED than anything else.
When we are hurt we find solutions which simply allow us to switch pathologies without truly clearing the issue. The energy of what has hurt us is instead transformed and pumped into a new channel but with the same venom as what hurt us before. The start of addiction is not an acceptance of our brokeness nor is it is an escape. Addiction actually feels like a fresh start each time a new one forms in your life. And it isn’t until you try to break free of it that you realize that you have bound yourself with new chains.
How do I know that I am strong in coaching others how to break the cycle of addiction? I mean I’m here now admitting to a powerful recent addiction in my own life.
How do I know that I am a safe haven for those who are struggling in the face of addiction and fear? I’m here admitting that I am afraid of anything and everything to the point that I WANT to give someone else control.
I know that I am qualified to lead others because I have many times in my life broken the chains. I am not infallible but I know my strength and I know my life will see many, many resurrections of the person that God intends me to be.
It is when you are most afraid that the enemy comes to you
and knowing that HE does not have the authority to take your life
he will encourage you to ruin it yourself
God does not ask us to not be afraid. He does not ask us to not make mistakes. He forbids us from entering into things where we can get taken a prisoner. And when we do succumb to these things he gives us the way to break the chains and leave these places. For as long as we are alive we are still learning.
As night falls I will once again feel alone. I will suggest to God that I am completely alone in my suffering and that I will have no peace. May God NOT make it so that it’s easy. May God NOT make it so that people will stop disappointing me. May God continue to show me that we will overcome it all - together. So that in the next chapter of life I may serve in such a way that I may be useful, peaceful and keep others safe through my wisdom. If I do not suffer the trials of man then I can not lead. And if I can not lead, then I must be lead.